Silence, Brand! 06.18.25

🦀 Will Smith is at it AGAIN + 200 Dads one shirt + I'm a MOMMY + Willem Dafoe is One Piece canon + HORSEMAXXING + science LOVES animal memes + Roblox ICE + Gangnam Style RETURNS?? 🦀

happy wednesday, dear crustaceans 🦀

ICYMI: yesterday, we went live on this here substack (and our LinkedIn)

We talked about so many things like watching Rednote as a palette cleanser, eating sardines out of the back of a car, and making TikToks before taking your 30-minute break.

if you want to watch to us yap about culture, join us Tuesdays after work. no specific time. just when we feel like it.

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and now the reason you’re all here
the mid-week harvest is bountiful ✨🍾🥰
(mostly thanks to Love Island and the shirtless men of Evita)

is it clocking to you? it is to us. hop in 👇

highlights for your consideration:

• food network’s fiercest chef, Anne Burrell, died yesterday.
  eat some brown food this week. it tastes good.

• Will Smith’s mid-life crisis is playing out right before our ears in his disturbing new single “Pretty Girls” 😬

• Willem Dafoe, on the other hand, just became part of One Piece canon
  (at least in meme form)

• “ain’t got no panties on” is now the #1 viral song in the country
  no notes on this one 🏆

🛍️ brandland updates:

• Netflix is building a real-life venue in philly (???)
  sorry in advance, it will not have the Evita abs.
  (or brands for that matter)

• Kraft is un-dyeing kool-aid for RFK jr. 🚨
  loser shit.

• Wendy’s has a Takis Fuego meal now.
  cannot wait to eat this and meet god 🥰🔥

📌 someone check in on the Pinterest team bc this week they:

1. are at cannes with their manifestival activation

2. dropped their first branded product w/ bestie emma chamberlain

3. collabed w/ e.l.f. on “color e.l.f.nalysis”

4. something with instacart, but we can’t give everything away in the intro

📲 oh you want trends?
good because we’ve got them

• Love Island audios are the highlight of our week so far
  maybe we’re all ✨ mommy ✨

• screaming like James Brown has us feelin good

• Gangnam Style is back??? 👀

It’s a lot. Don’t make a song like Will, and everything will be okay. Stay hydrated,
🦀🦀 LET’S DIVE INTO THOSE LINKS 🦀🦀

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hey, so like quick heads up:
in a couple scrolls, you might hit a paywall (not fun) 👎

our little crustacean crew packs
three (3) S,B! issues FULL of insights per week
to keep you in the loop (that’s a lot)

we keep Fridays free for everyone (as a treat),
but if you wanna unlock those need-to-know mid-week updates and trends
you gotta hit this handy orange button that says “Subscribe now”

🦀 TL;DR let us scroll for you.

Will Smith’s seedy new single ‘Pretty Girls’ sounds like a cry for help (The Independent)
Will Smith has released a new single and music video called "Pretty Girls," where he raps about his attraction to women. The video has drawn criticism online for its portrayal of Smith and its lyrical content, with some calling it "creepy" and indicative of a "midlife crisis."

@willsmith“Pretty Girls” music video is out!!

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Food Network Star Anne Burrell Dead at 55 (New York Times)
Food Network celebrity chef Anne Burrell has tragically passed away at the age of 55 in New York City. Known for hosting "Worst Cooks in America" and other Food Network shows, she leaves behind her husband, four children, and other family members.

foodnetwork

A post shared by @foodnetwork

North Texas moms pull off viral Father's Day prank, get 200 dads to wear the same shirt to church (CBS News)
A North Texas mom orchestrated a Father's Day prank at her parish, getting 200 dads to wear the same shirt to Mass, bringing joy and laughter to many. The viral stunt, organized by Kristen Combo, involved all the moms buying the shirts from an online Catholic store and presenting them as a sweet Father's Day gift, resulting in a heartwarming and humorous surprise for the dads.

kristencombo

A post shared by @kristencombo

Wax-A-Million Tops Spotify Charts with 24-Year-Old Song (Complex)
Wax-A-Million's 2001 track "Ain't Got No Panties On" is going viral on TikTok, appearing in over 290,000+ videos and reaching the No. 1 spot on Spotify's Viral 50 - USA playlist, gaining popularity over two decades after its release.

@alysaaa111111 @alysaaa111111 ♬ I Aint Got No Panties on on the Dance Flooo - Wax-A-Million

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This hilarious musical theater meme is flooding our timelines with shirtless men (UK)
A limited run of Evita on the West End, directed by Jamie Lloyd, has sparked memes due to its minimalist costuming and inclusion of scantily clad men. Theater lovers are imagining Lloyd’s interpretations of other famous musicals, highlighting his established style.

It's True, One Piece Really Recreated Willem Dafoe's Greatest Meme With a Quiet Easter Egg Everyone Missed (Screen Rant)
One Piece episode 1133 features a nod to internet culture with a navy officer resembling Willem Dafoe, referencing a popular meme from the actor's role in the 2018 biopic At Eternity’s Gate. This cameo adds a humorous touch to an action-packed scene and has garnered attention from fans.

@chief.keysLegit can't believe im seeing this 😭😂 #OnePiece #One #Piece #manga #anime #willemdafoe #vangogh #meme #fyp

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Sharing Animal Memes Is Good for Your Health, According to a New Study (PetHelpful)
A new study published in the Journal of Consumer Research compares sharing animal memes to a behavior practiced by Gentoo penguins called pebbling.

@thefloofreportlovely minipig #pig #pigs #cute#minipig #minipigsoftiktok #fyp #foryoupage #animals #babypig #pet

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We don’t wanna do that!!!
TikTokers are using this trending audio of Amaya from Love Island USA Szn 7 during their first elimination of the game to describe scenarios of things they don’t want to do.

@rellobrownI hate clocking in any day of the week, but #Mondays are the worst. #Amaya I feel ya sis— and it should’ve been #Huda. #loveislandusa

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