CALLING ALL INTERNET WEIRDOS, BRAND GOBLINS, AND TREND HUNTERS
🦀 Don’t just consume culture. Stay one step ahead of it. 🦀
Welcome to silence, brand! — where marketing fever dreams, meme cults, and viral chaos gather for a tri-weekly potluck of internet absurdity.
We are a vibe shift.
We are a glitch in the matrix.
We are a crab under your bed.
We are a sentient group chat that won’t stop pinging you at 3am with “omg look at this.”
We’re not here to keep you “informed” — we’re here to make sure you never see brands the same way again.
What is Silence, Brand!?
It’s a newsletter.
It’s a lifestyle.
It’s an unholy gathering of marketing misfits who live for internet culture, viral moments, and the bizarre world of corporate cringe.
Imagine if a group chat, a marketing war room, and a haunted VHS tape had a baby. That baby grew up too fast, got addicted to trend reports, and now it runs a newsletter.
If something is trending on tiktok, spiraling on twitter, or getting ratio’d on threads — we’re already there with screenshots, timestamps, and a 3-paragraph analysis nobody asked for.
Each week, we dig through the sludge of online weirdness and pull out the shiniest treasures for you to feast on.
No fluff, no frills — just the wildest updates from brand antics, meme warfare, and the eerie underbelly of social media.
This is a broadcast from the algorithmic abyss.
Think: the coolest coworker in your Slack channel but it’s a sentient crustacean with wifi. Expect memes, trends, and marketing breakdowns so sharp they’ll cut through your "brand voice guide" like a hot knife through butter sculpture.
We’re not just a newsletter; we’re a lifestyle choice you didn’t realize you were making.
What Do We Cover?
If it’s weird, viral, or one poorly-timed tweet away from a PR meltdown, it’s in here. Here’s a taste:
Brand Meltdowns: When corporations go "fellow kids" and we all have to watch
Internet Trends: From TikTok audios to micro-memes no one understands (but we do)
Viral Audios, Aesthetics & Oddities: If the algorithm loves it, you’ll see it here first
The Cringe Report: PR nightmares, CEO misfires, and whatever StickerGate 2024 was
Crab-Approved Chaos: Memes, formats, and sounds that are just too unhinged to ignore
Why Silence, Brand!?
Because every social media manager needs a friend who’ll say:
“Don’t post that.”
And also, “Post that, immediately.”
This is the space for people who live in Slack threads about "brand voice alignment" but secretly want to burn it all down.
We are you.
You are us.
We are crabs. 🦀
Who Are We?
WHAT IS SILENCE, BRAND!?
It’s a tri-weekly roundup of internet oddities, brand cringe, and cultural weirdness curated by an elite task force of over-caffeinated marketing gremlins.
Our mission?
To expose the absurdity, celebrate the brilliance, and drag the brands (ourselves included) when they deserve it.
If it’s trending on TikTok, clowning on Twitter, or haunting your feed at 3 a.m., we’re already 10 steps ahead.
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS CHAOS?
WHO MADE THIS MESS?
A shadow cabal of marketing freaks, trendwatchers, and self-appointed internet anthropologists.
They do not sleep.
They do not log off.
They see the weirdest parts of the internet and say, "yeah, let's include that."
Armed with iced coffee and cursed audios, this team of Brand Gremlins exists solely to interpret the cultural static and deliver it to you like a feral cat bringing home a mysterious "gift."
WHAT YOU’LL FIND IN EACH ISSUE
Buckle up, shrimp — here’s what you can expect in every installment of Silence, Brand!
🦀 VIRAL SOUNDS & TRENDS: the audios, memes, and dance moves that are about to take over your fyp. yes, even that one you hate.
🦀 MARKETING WINNERS & LOSERS: brand cringe. brand wins. brand war crimes. it’s all here. we name names.
🦀 ODDLY SPECIFIC INTERNET DRAMA: crypto scams, influencer beefs, and why there’s suddenly an orca wearing a salmon hat.
🦀 CULTURAL CHAOS REPORT: is "hopelessness-core" a vibe shift or a cry for help? Maybe both. We track the wild cultural phenomena shaping the zeitgeist.
🦀 MARKETING NEWS THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS: TikTok bans, new social media tools, and tools that might make your job 2% easier. All the things you’ll pretend to “already know” in your next work meeting.
WHY "SILENCE, BRAND!"?
If you know, you know.
If you don’t — it’s a nod to the internet’s collective exhaustion with brands barging into our feeds with quirky “Hello, fellow kids” energy.
It's a cursed reference to that one meme where a brand tries to be “relatable” online and someone replies, "Silence, Brand!"
But guess what…
We refused to be silenced.
We leaned into the noise, became one with the glitch, and built a whole crustacean kingdom out of it.
We will never shut up. 🦀
We are the brand that refuses to be silent.
WHO IS THIS FOR?
Brand strategists trying to convince their boss that TikTok audios actually matter.
Social media managers who know "just one more edit" is never just one more edit.
Marketing pros trying to explain tiktok audios to their boss for the 45th time.
Trend chasers and locked in freaks who want to be in the know without spending 6 hours scrolling TikTok at 2 a.m.
Anyone who enjoys watching the world burn a little bit — but, like, in a fun way.
You. yes, you. The one reading this with 47 tabs open and a cold coffee. You’re one of us now.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING
🦀 “This newsletter taught me things I didn’t want to know but now can’t un-know.” — A guy named Jack probably
🦀 "This newsletter ruined my perception of reality. 10/10." — probably someone in a Discord server somewhere
🦀 "It's like staring directly into the eye of the algorithm" — Haunted internet gremlin
🦀 “I feel smarter and dumber at the same time.” — Your future self
🦀 "They keep referencing crabs and i don't know why but i can't stop reading." — User feedback, actual quote
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (THAT NOBODY ASKED FOR.)
❓WHY DO YOU KEEP MENTIONING CRABS?
Don’t question it.
Just know that crabs are the final form of evolution and also a perfect metaphor for our community.
scuttling.
armored.
ready for anything.
❓IS THIS A CULT?
no. unless you want it to be.
❓IS THIS A USEFUL MARKETING RESOURCE OR JUST MEME NONSENSE?
yes.
❓HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?
Free to vibe.
Paid to thrive.
❓WHAT DO I DO NEXT?
Subscribe (it’s free, coward)
Forward it to your work bestie (you KNOW they’ll love it)
Scuttle into the crab kingdom (it’s nice down here)
JOIN THE CRUSTACEAN NATION
Three times a week, a fresh bundle of content chaos is delivered straight to your inbox.
FREE SUBSCRIBER PERKS:
Fresh memes, audios, and brand blunders every week
Ability to pretend you "knew about it first" when it hits mainstream 2 weeks later
The satisfaction of knowing you’re smarter than everyone else in the group chat
Get early access to "crab prophecies" aka unhinged trend forecasts that always, somehow, end up being right.
Priority access to the apocalypse (probably)
want more?
subscribe as a paid member (because capitalism, baby) and get access to the deep cuts: bonus content, spicy takes, and the kind of unfiltered commentary that makes HR nervous.
CALLING ALL FREAKS, BRAND GOBLINS, AND TREND HUNTERS
This is your official invite to the crab rave.
Be part of the weird.
Be part of the crustacean nation.
Subscribe now…
Or don’t.
We’ll find you anyway.
(Disclaimer: No actual crabs were harmed in the making of this website but spiritually? They thrive.)
Silence, Brand! is presented by LOUDMOUTH, a creative advocacy agency.
Are you a social media manager working with brands?
📲 We want to hear from you — [No, but like… we really do. We gotta stick together.]
Are you a business or agency that would love a customized, white-labeled digital culture roundup tailored to company and shareholder interests?
🚀 Hit us up and let’s make that happen :)
