ranch roundup
🦀 i was in the 212 + mama kelces home renovation + live más + new emojis + frambled eggs + let them eat erewhon + nothing bundt cakes anti-drama + von dutch come back + chrome hair + oops all berry🦀
guys. ..
we have a pretty important question …
how much ranch is too much ranch?
Yesterday was National Ranch Day.
It was also Mario Day [MAR 10]
AND Taco Bell’s Live Más keynote.
So across the board, a banner tuesday.
Really one for the books.
But on the milky note of ranch dressing, we can ssee which brands are still taking the “social media holiday” beats super seriously.
Hidden Valley Ranch is hiring a a “Ranch-bassador” — another entry in the trope of brands putting out nonsense job openings for PR hits. [See also: 2023’s Duolingo owl trainer and last week’s Chief Tasting Officer role at Wendy’s. Taki’s just announced that they filled their Chief Intensity Officer, so that role is no longer open]
Fast casual restaurant chain Farmer Boy’s is offering a one-day only table side ranch activation (for the uninitiated, this is a take on table side guac found in some Mexican restaurants)
Wingstop is offering a “Big A$$ Ranch Cup*, a first-of-its-kind 32 oz. stainless steel collectible filled with Wingstop’s iconic, housemade ranch”
Great Wolf Lodge released a ranch milkshake — last I checked Great Wolf Lodge is a water park. Ranch at a waterpark sounds like a nightmare.
Why are marketing teams still beholden to a nonsense Social National Holidays calendar? I’m having a violent flashback to being tasked with researching fake social media holidays to add to the content calendar for a restaurant chain I worked with back in 2018.
“so we do burgers … that means we have to do national pickle day [November 14th] and national beer day [April 7th]. but national women’s day gets a little political and we don’t want that kind of attention, so we should skip.”
Who are these ranch stunts for?
I would argue that it would it be more fun to do silly things with ranch on days that aren’t National Ranch Day.
Dip your CEO in ranch day.
Ranch lookalike contest.
Our social media person is out today so we let our Ranch make this post.
These are just a few suggestions.
Tag us if any get past legal : )[🦀 dayna]
Our friends at Thought Enthusiast thought it would be a good idea to ask us what we’re vibing with on the internet right now and keeps our crabby claws clicking.
Read “On timeline-altering events, keeping luxury weird, and being sorta woo woo” on Substack.
S,B! IRL LA 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
watch out for crabs!
🦀 we will be hosting our SECOND (🤯) Silence, Brand! IRL in LA on 3/15
this time its a bit more more low key ... a casual meetup and trinket swap at all seasons brewery
we’ve also moved our RSVPs to handstamp >> RSVP HERE
HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE CRABBY BABIES
🦀📈 TODAY’S POLL
📲🦀 Viral Topics
Why Did Donna Kelce’s Home Renovation Go Viral? Behind the Viral Meme About the ‘Traitors’ Star (Elle Decor)
Donna Kelce’s completely ordinary home renovation has gone wildly viral after TMZ reported that the NFL mom is replacing windows and doors in her Orlando house. The mundane update racked up more than 25 million views as memes spread across social media, with people joking about the absurdity of such a low-stakes story dominating the news cycle. The Kelce family has leaned into the joke online, turning the renovation into another moment in the internet’s ongoing fascination with the Kelce extended universe.
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Demi Lovato, Benson Boone, and More Stars Turn Up at Taco Bell’s Live Más Live Event at The Palladium in L.A. (ETOnline)
Taco Bell hosted a star-studded “Live Más Live” event at The Palladium in Los Angeles, bringing out celebrities like Demi Lovato, Doja Cat, Jason Sudeikis, and Benson Boone for a night centered around the brand’s latest menu reveals. The event blended games, performances, and social media moments, including Anderson .Paak turning fan commentary into a choir and celebrities guessing whether Taco Bell menu items were real or made up. The chain also unveiled more than 20 new food items and turned the event into a streaming special on Peacock while promoting exclusive offers through the Taco Bell Rewards app.
This new emoji is all of us in 2026 (Fast Company)
The new “distorted face” emoji is one of several characters approved in the Unicode 17.0 update and expected to roll out widely in 2026. With warped eyes and a stretched expression, it visually captures feelings of overwhelm, confusion, or chaotic disbelief. Designers say its exaggerated look mirrors the emotional intensity of online life—perfect for reacting to bizarre news, stressful moments, or situations that make your brain feel completely scrambled.
Many Twitter users expressed it would be their most used emoji from this next drop and brands have turned it into a trend to express scenarios related to their brand and industry.
‘Frambled Eggs’ Trend Takes Over TikTok (Dave And Chuck The Freak)
TikTok creators are trying a new egg technique called “frambled eggs,” a hybrid between fried eggs and scrambled eggs. Instead of fully scrambling the eggs in the pan, cooks leave the yolks intact and break them after plating, creating a mix of runny yolk and scrambled texture. The simple kitchen hack is spreading across TikTok as users claim it’s the best way to make eggs.
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Fashionable Wall Street Bros Set Off a Social Media Storm (New York Times)
A recent story about stylish young bankers has sparked debate about the evolving image of the modern “finance bro” on Wall Street. The piece highlights Gen Z finance workers embracing luxury fashion—think designer suits, statement watches, and polished styling—rather than the traditional low-key banker uniform. The flashy look has gone viral online, with critics saying it breaks the industry’s unwritten rule of discretion and turns finance culture into a kind of social-media spectacle.
What’s going on with Ben Shapiro’s eyebrows? (Daily Dot)
Ben Shapiro’s eyebrows unexpectedly became the subject of viral memes after images circulated online showing the conservative commentator with dramatically thicker brows. Users across X and TikTok debated whether the change was real or the result of editing or AI, with many exaggerated versions spreading as jokes.
Donald Trump’s 18-Year-Old Granddaughter Sparked Her First Proper Controversy Online. People Are Focused On the Wrong Part. (Slate)
Kai Trump, President Donald Trump’s granddaughter, faced criticism for her video diary of a Secret Service–chaperoned trip to a luxury supermarket, which was deemed insensitive and a waste of tax dollars. Despite her attempts to engage her audience, the video was considered boring and unoriginal, as she explored the store’s offerings and shared her purchases, raising questions about the influence of her family and the relatability of her content.
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🦀 Trending
Nothing Bundt Cakes Anti-Drama
A Threads user went viral after posting that they were leaving Nothing Bundt Cakes and their NDA was about to expire, then refusing to elaborate, sending the comments into a frenzy waiting for drama. Instead of a scandal, the replies filled with speculation and jokes, with many users guessing the big “secret” was simply that the cake mix comes from Sysco. The anticlimax became the joke itself, turning the post into a mini internet mystery with a very boring punchline.
